waiting
wishing
killing all my dreams
slowly, one by one
i smash them like
grubs, i hold them first
palm them, pet them
soothe them, i whisper
tell them what they can become
kiss them softly, wondering
can they feel my desperate love
bodies fat and squirming,
they glow bright like jelly moons
hanging from my neck
even a fly's wings are beautiful
like oil slicks
with etchings of iron
my dreams have lived a maggot's life,
i let one go, each day
each day, i let one go
i watch it walk away
and crawl, i
wait i
wait
i am too small to pull me out
i am too weak to pull me out
can't you hear me calling you
my voice a string of pearls let loose
i wait and wait, i wait
and my moon fades
crawling calmly on
through blackened dirt
it's back to me, it never knows
my fist
the last it feels
my youth has
no moonlight
still waiting for your ghost
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